I was going to delete this because it's useless emotional drivel ejected from a self-pitty party.
Then I decided it's relevant because I really felt this bad, if only for a while.
Then laziness won, and I decided not to decide.
I cried when I sent it
the letter from my physician
the recurring panic attacks
ending my career
little hope
sadness
And one again I felt t
The thrust and twisting blade
should have done better
Eviscerating me again
Try harder
Fail
Self's blood cries from the ground
his spirit shrieks towards sheole
Forcibly discharged from flesh
Cold empty blackness
No warmth
void
But this is a tremendous thing
There is now No ambition
There exists no pride
No deceptive worth
quietly awaiting
empty
And something that is empty can most easily be filled.
So …
dread naught
ignore the tears
the breast that quivers
The unsteadiness of my speech
The slight quivering of my lip
The self in fragments in my hands
Observe! the glorious dawn of a new beginning.
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