Wednesday, February 28, 2007

My day today

I was going to delete this because it's useless emotional drivel ejected from a self-pitty party.

Then I decided it's relevant because I really felt this bad, if only for a while.

Then laziness won, and I decided not to decide.

I cried when I sent it

the letter from my physician

the recurring panic attacks

ending my career

little hope


And one again I felt t

The thrust and twisting blade

should have done better

Eviscerating me again

Try harder


Self's blood cries from the ground

his spirit shrieks towards sheole

Forcibly discharged from flesh

Cold empty blackness

No warmth


But this is a tremendous thing

There is now No ambition

There exists no pride

No deceptive worth

quietly awaiting


And something that is empty can most easily be filled.

So …

dread naught

ignore the tears

the breast that quivers

The unsteadiness of my speech

The slight quivering of my lip

The self in fragments in my hands

Observe! the glorious dawn of a new beginning.

Sunday, February 25, 2007

On Feminism

There's a tension between the good of the individual, which must be considered, and the good of the whole, which often requires sacrifice from the individual.

Nether of these can be dismissed, ignored, or downplayed. If we continue with our analogy of the body, we see that if enough heart cells are unhealthy, the body (whole) will die, but that if the whole dies, the cells of the kidneys, liver, and bone are soon to follow.

So, what of feminism?

As it turns out, raising the next generation of young is a lot of work, and most men aren't up to it. I could spend pages and pages defending those two statements, but I'm going to let them stand for now as assumptions.

The problem,then, becomes this: There is a critically important, time-consuming, and labor intensive job that is vital to the survival of our species, that no one is doing.

This, of course, is completely the fault of men. (Seriously - not being sarchatic) It is a shame that men have been so remarkably seflish as to disenfranchise women to the point where they don't trust us to do OUR job (which is to honor them, protect them, provide for them, etc) so that they can do THEIR job.

As a result, we have women attending to trivial things like the running of corporations and street cars and rivet guns and legal defenses, that could be deeply and profoundly engage in the enormous task and honor of raising the next generation of human beings.

I fear for the species when the best and brightest of our women cannot be bothered to raise children.

In thinking further (or, my arguments against feminism)... (part 1)

If we think about sin, we'll essentially see that the things defined as sin are things that harm others or somehow tear down the community.

The ten commandments in fact are a litany of do-unto-othersisms:
1. Don't kill who? Others
2. Honor who? Others (your father and mother)
3. Don't steal from who? Others
etc. etc. etc.

It's as though God felt we needed reminded that we are a social organism, and humanity as a whole (or the tribe or the other form that community might take) MUST be more important than ME.

So, if we challenge our selves to look into the aspects of the ancient Jewish religion which modern sensibilities find most disturbing:

Women - why are they commanded to be subservient to men?
Homosexuality - why would it be sin?
Destroying other cultures and ways of life because they hold fundamentally different values? (worship other gods etc)

Scripting out existing database mail configuration

SQL Server Central Artical on Scripting out Existing database mail configuration I wanted to save this here so I can easily find it. Sorry ...