Showing posts from April 22, 2012

Putting Away Childish Things

I've written about this before, but I again return to it tonight.

It's interesting, as we grow, I mean REALLY grow, spiritually, how the things in which we once took comfort are now out of reach.  I use the phrase "out of reach" deliberately.

I feel betrayed.  I feel hurt.  I feel devastated, to a degree and proportion that I don't know quite how to describe.

In times past, when my feelings like this arose, even to a much lesser extent than now, I reached for anger.  Rage.  I "let the beast out", meaning the animal within.  The part of me that was nothing but a mammal, cornered and injured and ready to make you bleed before I inevitably succumbed to your jaws.

Tonight, I felt a special release to return to that.  Not sure how to describe it.  It was like God saying "yeah, you know what, it's been a spectacularly rough 4 months or so.  Go for it.  We'll pick back up tomorrow."  But when I reached for that, when I started down that path,…