About 2 weeks ago, I was sitting in a doctor’s office with a
blood pressure of 160/100 (very high for someone my age), and having such sever
anxiety attacks that I couldn’t even go anywhere on vacation. That’s an extreme example of the burnout level
she’s talking about, below.
How did I get there?
Well, I persisted for far too long in an utterly hopeless
position.
I remarked to my wife that I worked all the time, but was
only productive for about 4-5 hours a day because I was spending the rest of my
day stewing in my own juices about things that didn’t normally
bother me; and even when I wasn’t working, I was thinking about work - day, night, and weekend.
I was growling at my family and spent most of my time just
wanting to cry.
It took the first several days off just to recover to a point where I could more-or-less function again. I spent
some time with friends, which was very rejuvenating. I didn't pressure myself to do anything. If I couldn't do it, I just said so.
After a week off, do I feel like a new man?
Yes!!!
Do I also realize that I’ll be back in that state within a week
or two of having 5 times the workload that I can successfully handle while
stranded on a desert island with no one paying attention, even when I try to
tell them?
Also yes. :-/
I’m not honestly sure what I’m going to do about any of that.
I actually was too far down in a hole to even try to change jobs. Maybe I
should take advantage of my recovery to do just that. I dunno. Changing jobs almost
certainly means moving, and we’ve got a lot holding us here.
Kendra Little is awesome. She’s a SQL Server consultant and
blogger that I follow (and currently a product evangelist for Red Gate), and I
love that she writes about this sort of thing (burnout).
The entire thing is useful, but the
last section is pure gold. Included below with link, emphasis mine.
What if I don’t have time?
The voice of burnout in your head is likely to make an
objection: we don’t have time for this.
*That’s the whole point.*
Well, here’s the thing that I’ve learned from the past: it
may hurt to make time, but it’s going to hurt even more if you don’t.
It’s not easy to ask for help with your workload. You may
need to negotiate to make it happen. It’s not a good feeling to say that you
can’t do things which you’ve agreed to. If you’re in a culture of
over-achievers, it can be quite difficult to say that you don’t want to work as
much as everyone else is working.
However, the thing about burnout is that you can’t sustain
it. If you don’t take action and you
just keep your nose to the grindstone, chances are good that you’ll become
desperate for a job change, and that you’ll either quit your job or take
something, anything, for a change.
Burnout leads to bad
choices.
It’s a much better choice to
start doing the tough work and speak up for your own needs, before you are so
burned out that you can’t. Get yourself into a more productive place before
making any big decisions about the future — and things will look better from
your new vantage point.
