Friday, October 17, 2008

Tonights meditation ...

BibleGateway.com - Passage Lookup: Psalm 27:14

 14 Wait for the LORD;
       be strong and take heart
       and wait for the LORD.

I've had more than one dream or vision about this.  (Bad Joe - quit being crazy...)

In one, I remember going with Jesus through an escalating gauntlet of terrors, actually culminating in a trip into hell, or something like it, as he assured me that they could not harm me.

Tonight, as I began my meditations, I felt an uncertainty and deep uneasiness.  I felt I was unready, that I had not learned enough.  Who will teach me?  I asked.  Will I be mislead? 

I asked for protection in Jesus name, and actually asked it of Him if memory serves, as I clearly do not have the wisdom to discern an angel of light from something cleverly disguised as such. 

Soon I was walking with Jesus through a dungeon.  He told me several things, but the main thing I remember is that it is a dark world, and implied in his comments was an image of humanity. 

I was expecting, I think, this to BE another "hey, you're OK cause I'm with you" thing, but instead he placed me in a pitch black dungeon cell and closed the door behind me, leaving me alone. 

There I was assaulted by demons who tried to gain entrance into me.  It's odd, but I felt it.  Yet I didn't.  Not sure how to explain... 

Under their attack, I started to glow, and though they flew all around me like bats and TRIED to get into me, they did not seem to penetrate, although some stretched me uncomfortably...

My light (the glowing) grew in intensity, but only with exertion, although not physical exertion.  Exertion of will, I suppose.  It illuminated them.  Some it drove back, some were unperterbed, and some seemed to be revealed as people.

Then, Jesus took me out of the cell and, as we walked, demons began to come out of me one at a time or a few at a time.  This was unexpected, considering what seemed to be a great success in the dungeon cell. Jesus then injected light into me, and it seemed as though the pressure of the light caused the remaining demons to burst from me.  He then mentioned rather nonchalantly that it was bound to happen as you had contact with the darkness.  Essentially (to paraphrase) "You CAN win 'em all, but htey other team's gonna score points.  You can't be immersed in that sort of dirt without getting a little on you.  Then, every once in a while, I take you out and clean you off."  There was an implication there that the presence of the demons WITHIN ME didn't change anything between He and I.

I touched on this briefly, but at one point, the "demons" that I thought I was encountering were shown to be, at least in part, people - people who simply haven't been shown the light.  The message here was very clear.  I (Joe, to be clear) am the light, and the only light they'll see.  There's not much light out there, and even those of us who should be light often aren't.  I needed to be calm and unafraid, I needed to endure pain and privation in endless amounts if needs be, and above all, I needed to shine.  To put a very fine point on it, the Demons weren't the enemy, they were the mission. 

The interesting side note that brings me back to the scripture above, though, is the undercurrent of fear, or lack thereof.  I was unafraid of death.  I was unafraid of hell, I was unafraid of people, I was unafraid of the dark.  I was unafraid of the demons, even as I felt physically their attempts to invade me.  I don't know whether to characterize the calm I felt as objective and detached, or more resigned to the fact that whatever will be will be and is as God intended.  i THINK the latter.

Well, at any rate...

1 comment:

Derin Beechner (Durk Niblick) said...

I am reading Joe...Just don't have much to say. Keep going and keep posting.

You're not crazy.

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